Deflower’d

Australian Idol Recap (Top 100)

Posted in australian idol, australian television, music, television by deflowerd on August 31, 2008

Ahhh, Idol. How I’ve missed you. I didn’t catch Thursday and Friday’s audition shows, but the judges forged on.. uh.. without me. The top 100 was rounded out, and tonight we’re going to be treated to Idol’s first Theatre Auditions to involve a live audience and a band. Excited? You bloody should be!

There will be tears, there will be singing, there will be blood. I can’t wait.

James and Andy welcome us to the top 100 show. At the end of tonight 76 people will have been eliminated, and we’ll be left with the top 24. I can’t wait for this, as it will be a hell of a lot less confusing to recap.

We cut to Sydney Harbour, and a bunch of contestants are given an envelope containing possible songs to sing. Some are shaking, some feel sick, and others smell funny. I assume. We see Freaky Fringe and Scottish Mum, as well as a few other peeps staying up all night memorising.

This year there are 3 possibilities in Theatre Auditions; going home, going through, or coming back to try again.

We kick off with Madam, the 23 year old soul mama from NZ. She starts off slow but builds up to a… ok, it’s not an earth-shaking audition, but it’s good and the judges love her. I think she’s pretty funny and cool, so I’m happy that she’s going through. Next up is Scott the wrestler, and he’s just as unimpressive as his first audition. The judges give him a second chance. Psh. Next is a 16-year old named Luke, who forgets the words and sings horribly. Same for the next guy. And the next girl (Rebecca Simoni). She cries, and it’s sad ’cause she’s hot. Kyle is really harsh, and it makes me smile. I know, I’m sick.

We’re back from the break with Simon Talbot, who forgets the words and doesn’t sing very well. Fatty Chrislyn Hamilton fades in, and Kyle rips into her kinda. He tells her to dress better, and she goes off and has a little cry. She’ll be back, though.

A girl whose name I don’t know totally fucks it up. Sigrid Moar, Kirby Lunn, and Jessica Griffin all screw up the same song. Griff-dog gets another chance.

Bull-dyke Egg appears to have gone completely insane. It shows in her audition. The judges are very critical of her, and Dicko tells her that her career is hanging in the balance. Which… she has a career? They give her a second chance.

Some guy whose name I missed brings his guitar out and plays along with the band. Kyle thinks he can win the whole comp, but Dicko makes him come back for a second chance draw. Brooke Schubert plays along on her guitar too and I think she screws up at one point, but she sings really well and they send her on through.

In the commercial break they show a promo for ‘Taken’, that weird new dating gameshow. It actually looks kinda hilarious.

We come back from the break to Marcia giving some contestants a pep talk. Freaky Fringe is up, and she sings that No Doubt song. She does some silly dancing and her vocals are obviously labored because of that. They give her a second chance.

Robert Jeffery, the theatrical ranga, sings pretty well and ends on a big note. Kyle doesn’t like him, but Dicko does. It comes down to Marcia, but then all of a sudden Kyle offers him the second chance draw, so we’ll be seeing Bobby again. Speaking of seeing people again, it’s Scottish Mum. She dyed her hair! She sings that song about not letting the sun go down on me. Naughty! She doesn’t sing terribly, but she doesn’t sing terribly well either. She gets a second chance.

Ugh now for that stupid beardy hippie jerk who sang All Along The Watchtower. He’s really nervous. Anyway, he gets out there and seems to sing pretty well. The judges applaud him. Wowzers. Kyle said he was perfect, and Dicko gives him a massive ‘yes’. Jeebies, they really like this fella. That girl with the funny face that they found in London goes through to the solo round. I think she found some makeup or something.

The second chancers have to perform acapella, stepping forward out of a lineup of around 10. A guy named .. something… sings a song by Michael Jackson. Next is a cute girl who sings a really old-timey kinda song, and then a country dude, and then musical theatre girl Nicole. She sings Valerie, and she sounds pretty good. The cute girl, some other girl, and Nicole all make it through, and a couple of dudes make it through for… some other round.

We see Freaky Fringe again, as well as that young guy Tom Williams who I reaaally like. The judges are really critical of him, which I totally don’t get. Ugh, Bull-dyke Egg is back for her second chance. She sings just as bad as the first time. Dicko calls her abominable. She doesn’t get through.

That guy who played the guitar, who is apparently called Teale, sings again. I’m not extremely impressed with him, but he tells a nice story about his dad so he gets through. Bobby the ranga gets through, but as with a whole bunch of other second chancers, there’s still one more they have to get through… I think. It’s kinda complicated.

Okay, I think there’s just one more audition for everyone who is left. After that, they get whittled down to 24. This final round features a live audience; the audience thinks they’re going to see some taped presentation, and the contestants have no idea there will be an audience. Surprises all round! Neato. The curtain is raised, and cheering erupts throughout the theatre. Nice moment.

Dicko tells everyone to go hard or go home. Everyone looks terrified. Madam has a cool accent. The contestants prepare to take the stage; James wonders if they will rock the judges. I wonder that too.

First up is that beardy dude that the judges loved. He looks fucking terrified. He’s singing Mr. Brightside by The Killers. I just can’t look; it’s killing me! He sings pretty well, all things considered. He is visibly shaking. That Azn guy from the boyband kills it, as does some fatty we haven’t seen yet. Chrislyn – the original and the best – also performs really well.

The judges argue over photos of contestants. James tells us that they’ll be “working it out throughout the night.” Working. It. Out.

The girl who I worried would lose her individuality (Sarah Something) is up first. She appears to have lost some of it already. Shame, that. We see a snippet of her final solo audition. It has flat patches, but it’s not too bad. However, I’m going to bet that she’s out. Oh Dicko, you bastard. He says “Well, we’d love to take a risk too….. …… … but not this year.” She’s gone.

Oh no, Robert the Ranga is going home. Same with Jessica Griffin. Natalie, the ‘other’ fatty, was apparently from Sydney, which I think I missed. Anyway, she actually got cut at this point last year. We get a heap of backstory, so I’m gonna assume she makes it through. They show a snipplet of her final solo audition, and she rocks it like a quarry. Marcia says something about her true self sparkling. She makes it through!

Dear god, this goes for another 50 minutes.

James Spargo’s wife is preggas, and he’s really excited and stuff. He wants to be successful in this competition for his lil bubba and wifey. It’s a shame, because his final solo audition wasn’t that great and I honestly don’t expect he’ll get through. He’s a mess in most of his interviews. Ahh, this is uncool. Oh Marcia, you sneaky vixen! She built it up, and she knocked it out of the park. He gets through, gosh darn it!

Next is my little buddy Tom Williams. On second listen, his auditions haven’t been great. We get to see his final solo audition, and he seems to perform pretty well. Hmm. Maybe he’s going through? He says he knows who he is; he’s Tom Williams from Adelaide. Marcia says he’s Tom Williams from Adelaide who has pitch problems. Haha, Marcia is killing me. He gets through!

We see a few more auditions, including Madam Parker. She’s up in front of the judges, and she’s nervous. Dicko says her voice is a thing of beauty. She’s through! She can’t believe it, the poor dear. She runs off stage. I giggled a bit.

More people are sent home, but Wes the beardy isn’t. He’s through to the top 24. The guy from the Lion King doesn’t make it, and he looks a little suicidal. James Sidebottom (hee!) is up next. He says he doesn’t want to win. Dicko gets really angry, and justifiably. They seem to have cut heaps of what he said. After Sidebottom’s gone, Dicko goes off some more. I still think he’s totally justified.

Next up is that farmer dude (Luke Dickens). He sang Piano Man in his final solo audition, and he seemed to do very well. He’s completely different from any of the other contestants, and I think he’s pretty cool. Dicko says that this is as far as they, the judges, can take him. He’s like, “Yep, that’s cool,” and it seems like he’s going home. Then Dicko busts out, “Now it’s between you and the Australian public.” He’s through! So are Freaky Fringe and Sophie from London.

Nicole Banks, who my sister saw at Fed Square once, is up. She hasn’t done very well in the past few auditions, but she’s still here. She gets teary and stuff and it’s all very emotional and blah blah. She has very red hair. Dicko tells her that she’s through to the top 24. Hmm. If she gets it together her theatricality could work in her favour, and I really hope she does get it together.

We’re getting down to the wire now. Teale makes it to the top 24. Boyband Boy gets through too. Mitchell Steele, the 16 year old cowboy, seemed to sing pretty well at his final solo audition. Kyle’s imagination was captured – he’s in! I didn’t get to see Rashani’s original audition, but she’s done really well this episode and she’s up next. She was born in Sri Lanka and was adopted into an Australian family. She has short hair, though. I don’t like short hair on a lady. Her hair is kinda like mine. Hers is probably nicer. Probably. She gets through! I look forward to seeing more of her.

Jeez, we’ve got 23 out of 24. Who will fill that final spot? There’s only 2 contestants left; Chrislyn and Scottish Mum. We’re going to learn who is in after the break, but I’m calling it right now; Chrislyn. It has to be. Right?

They’re both crying. They head in. Cue slow motion and smoke machine. They show some of Scottish Mum’s audition, and .. yeah, she ain’t making it through. Sorry lass. They show some of Chrislyn’s and… yeah, she’s making it through. She’s seriously good. They talk to them, and they both really want it. Dick wants to put them both through, but he says they have to go with their instincts. I really hope they don’t put them both through.

Woo, they put Chrislyn through!

Commiserations to Scottish Mum, she seemed like a lovely lady. She’s just not a great singer.

Parade of Success!

So, we’ve got our Top 24. All in all, I’m pretty happy with them. There’s a couple who probably weren’t in the top 24 singers of the 100, but made it through on the strength of their character or backstory.  That’s cool; this is as much about entertainment as it is about musical credibility.

Oh god, the first semi-final is tomorrow night. When do I get a break? Not for a while, it seems. I might just do a mini-recap at the end of each night this week.

Flower Power Out!

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