Australian Idol Recap (Rock night)
So, last week we lost the amazing Madam Parker. This week we’re faced with the prospect of a damn good sock-rocking. Will the contestants rock our socks off, or will they remain firmly upon our sweaty Sunday feet? All hail The Rock. The night starts off a little rocky, with the audience mics (or the fake audience sounds) fading in and out during the opening credits.
Apparently, the tutors for this week will be INXS. Nice. There are a few pretty awesome INXS songs, so yeah, looking forward to this and to whatever else the contestants choose to sing. Kirk Pengilly will be joining the judging panel, and he and Tim Farriss did the teaching stuff.
Luke is singing ‘Are You Gonna Go My Way’, which is a pretty good song, I must admit. Killer riff. Killer. I went through a short Lenny Kravitz phase a few years ago – short because he only has around 4 good songs. So anyway, Luke does his thing. Not better or worse than any of his other performances, just… yeah. Luke. He’s been consistent, but I still can’t figure out if he’s consistently good or consistently bad. Dicko still wants Luke to explore the sweeter side of his voice. Marcia thinks it was the best opener we could wish for for rock night. Kirk was happy, and Kyle is worried about Motown week (Yesss! Motown week!). Andrew does some Motown dancing, and it’s the best thing ever.
The microphones are turned off again as we come back from the break. Get it together, sound people!
Thanh is doing some song by Linkin Park. Kayyy… It’s called ‘Shadow of the Day’. Never heard of it. He starts at the piano, but I can’t hear it at all. At all. Why is he even sitting at it? It’s a really shit song, too. Boring. Marcia was noivuss. Rightly so, I think. Kirk says it was good. Kyle is with me; Thanh seems to be back to his boring old tricks. Kyle doesn’t know what’s missing; Dicko does. Thanh thinks too much, without feeling it. Oh, by the way; Kirk cares.
Sophie is doing Anna’s Songor something, and she already sounds cringeworthy in rehearsals. Ugh. I really don’t like her voice. Didn’t like her performance at all. The judges sa – yawwwnnnnn. Next!
Teale picked some song by the Goo Goo Dolls and yeah, his taste in music is the ultimate in blandness. The only song that’s been remotely rock so far was Luke’s Are You Gonna Go My Way. Teale kinda sounded like a woman for a bit. This song is shite. Kyle says it was a reeeasonable job. Dicko says he’s dependable and possibly tedious. Aaanyway, I don’t like Teale, never have. James nearly smashes Teale’s guitar on the ground and I really wish he did.
I went to get a drink so I have no idea what Roshani is singing. Whatever it is, it ain’t good. All the judges like her, although Kirk jokes that it was crap. I’m with his joke. I just had no idea what song she was singhing.
Wes is doing some song by U2 called Desire. Why isn’t anyone doing actual rock songs? Why?! During rehearsals, Wes and Johnny Foreman were doing the song with just a tambourine and really simple piano, and it sounded awesome. However, the actual performance is a big pop-rock-country thing and it kinda sucks. INXS told him to explore the softer side of his voice during the teach, but he seems to have forgotten that entirely. I didn’t like his performance. The judges fawn all over his golden-brown locks.
Chrislyn chose some No Doubt song. Ohh, it’s Don’t Speak. She sings it very well, but it doesn’t blow me away. I was blown away by the fact that she was in the bottom 3 last week. Some of the judges are critical, Marcia is all emotional, but in the end I guess it wasn’t a redemptive performance. If she was cruising in the middle of the pack, it probably would have been ok, but she’s not – she was in the bottom 3. Could be a problem.
Mark Spano is last, and he’s doing Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon. I wish he’d done one of their earlier songs, but hey I’m not complaining. The teachy rehearsal bit sounds pretty good, so yeah. Should be a good performance. I caught a glimpse of the background singers doing some really weird dancing in the background. Anyway, the whole thing has a very artificial air – the house band really can’t ever manage to sound authentic at all, and it’s a shame. Mark is a good singer, but it came nowhere near the original song. Nowhere near. The judges are very lewd and such and I refuse to repeat it here. Moist vaginas.
So, on that note we bid farewell to Rock Night, as it fades into the bourbon-soaked distance. Byebye!