Deflower’d

Kiss me, I’m a Doctor!

Posted in celeb, television by deflowerd on November 27, 2008

Welcome back, Scrubbers! You know what that promo pic means? New Scrubs. And soon (ish). ABC has announced that Scrubs will be premiering on January 6, which means that finally I (and many other long-time Scrubs fans) will be able to see the stories of some of my favourite characters of television history wrap up, and my youth will get some closure as I move from a young adult to… a slightly older young adult.

At this point, before the 8th and potentially final season has even begun, I’m feeling that as long as JD & Elliot, Turk & Carla, Kelso and maybe even Cox are all wrapped up and given some closure, then Scrubs could continue into a 9th season with an all-new main cast. It would feel like a new show, and hell, we all know Scrubs could use some freshness. Plus, I wouldn’t feel like I’d have to constantly defend it anymore.

Oh yeah, you know what else I’m excited about? New Lost.

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My friend show me pictures of his kids, and all I could show him was pictures of my cribs

Posted in celeb, music by deflowerd on November 27, 2008

Yep, I’ve reviewed Kanye West’s new album 808s & Heartbreak. It should be up on TheDwarf within the next few days. Here’s a taster:

And then there was your performance at the 2008 MTV VMAs. You revealed a new, interesting song that didn’t. Feature. Any. Rapping. Gun to my head, it didn’t feature any singing either, really. It was unlike anything we’d heard before from Kanye. It was kinda unlike anything we’d heard before from anyone; it wasn’t a typical pop song, it wasn’t a typical R&B song, and it wasn’t a typical hip-hop song. It was ‘Love Lockdown’.

Soooo…

Posted in australian idol, celeb, television by deflowerd on November 15, 2008

I’ve clearly lost interest in Australian Idol. No more recaps, but maybe I’ll do a final summarative post after the finale. All the weirdos and hotties and freaks are gone, and we’re left with a few guys whose personality has been totally stripped from them over the course of the comp and I just can’t be bothered with it anymore.

Having said that, my bothered-ness has been shifted to greener pastures. Namely, Survivor Gabon, ANTM 11 and Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

Survivor Gabon has turned out to be fantastically interesting, and holds up well when compared to last season (which was blindside-riffic and pretty damn entertaining). The onion alliance looked like it was going to hold strong, but twists and turns of the game kept things interesting. There are some great characters, from Randy the asshole to Crystal the… I dont even know how to label her, to Kenny the gamer, to Sugar the innocent yet potentially game-winning pinup model. I’ve enjoyed the shenanigans so far, although I was sad to see Ace go so early. And so many fake elephants!

ANTM has been… well, fairly typical. The good models get sent home due to technicalities, and the Covergirl and Seventeen-worthy, hyper-commercial girls are kept around. Those with issues make it to around final 5 but are sent packing soon after, and the sweet, all-american girl eventually rises to the top thanks to continued psychological warfare against and for all parties. Tyra gets more and more insane with every cycle. Seriously, she’s like Oprah with an inferiority complex. She has to consistently reinforce and shore up her ego, which is like a patched but huge zeppelin. And if history has taught us anything, it’s taught us this; zeppelins eventually go down in a blaze of horrific proportions. And I can’t fucking wait.

Never Mind The Buzzcocks has lost a couple of things. Firstly, Simon’s hair. Secondof-ly, Bill Bailey. And it’s success in this 22nd season has relied on the quality of the guest captains. Stephen Fry and Mark Ronson were entertaining and different, but a few – such as the less well known British comedians – have fallen a bit flat. Russell Brand did an episode but it hasn’t yet been aired, likely due to his whole, “quitting the BBC” thing*. The show remains a must-watch for me, but the quality has dropped significantly from last season. Fingers crossed for a high quality permanent new team captain, or the return of Bill.

*Speaking of which: Fuck! His radio show was brilliant, and I listened with glee, fear, and amusement every week. I missed Matt Morgan, but his various co-hosts (Noel Fielding, Simon Amstell, Noel Gallagher, Jonathon Ross) were great and his irreverent interview style was a breath of fresh air. Bloody media bloody crucifying him! Anyway, if you – like me – miss his show, I recommend podcasting the Australian radio duo Hamish & Andy‘s show, via iTunes. It’s great. Seriously.

MIA is PREGNANT

Posted in celeb, music by deflowerd on October 14, 2008

That’s right, our favourite Sri-English female rapper/fashion icon is preggas. Could this be why she announced the end of live gigs? But then, this photo was obviously taken at a live show. Is this really her? All these questions and more, tonight on Deflower’d Confidential.

This is horrifying

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on October 6, 2008

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Lookalikes!

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on October 4, 2008
Jennifer Love Hewitt and The GrinchIts all in the nose. And the hating of Christmas. Cmon, we all know she does.

It's all in the nose. And the hating of Christmas. C'mon, we all know she does.

Mark Watson and Pete TownsendAgain, its in the nose.

Again, it's in the nose.

Ok, I’m bored now. I might go review The Zutons.

Russell Brand in The Tempest?

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on September 30, 2008

According to the man himself in his latest radio show (free podcast on iTunes, or go search for BBC Radio 2 Russell Brand and stream it from the website), Russell Brand will be appearing in a film version of the Shakespeare play The Tempest (which I just wrote a bloody essay on) with… den dendendennnn… Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren? Who’ll she be playing, Miranda? Wtf? She’s way too old for that. Anyway, Brand will be playing Trinculo, one of the drunken servants who, along with Stephano, seek to rule the island upon which everyone is wrecked and the whole damn play is set.

p.s. Russell, if you’re googling yourself; hi!

Things I like and things I don’t

Posted in celeb, music, television, Uncategorized by deflowerd on September 30, 2008

Likes:

  • Tom Williams leaving Australian Idol – get a few years of singing lessons under your belt, boy
  • The Nintendo Wii – played my friend’s the other day and am now determined to get one for myself (donations are welcome)
  • Mid-Semester Break – so far I’ve done 2 essays in 4 days but I still need to do 4 more
  • The new season of Survivor! – Gabon is full of elephant dung. My favourite contestant at this point is Charlie, with the rest jockeying for second. An interesting bunch…
  • 8 Out Of 10 Cats – Jimmy Carr hosts a panel show about statistics. Doesn’t sound great, but the team captains (Sean Locke and Jason Manford) are funny and so is the show. YouTube it.

Dislikes:

  • Jodhi Meares – she brought down AusNTM with her overt favouritism and lack of professionalism. I’m overjoyed to hear that she quit/was fired. Apparently, Australian model Cheyenne Tozzi (who is one year younger than me, damnit! where’s my big break?) is tipped to host next season.
  • The Economy – basically, we’re all doomed. The Great Depression v2.0 is just around the corner.
  • My hair – seriously, I can’t seem to do anything with it.
  • Rove – he’s apparently signed a 2-year contract with 10. Why can’t he go away and give someone else the opportunity to host a talk show? I’d do a much better job than him. Letterman is my god.
  • The new Kings Of Leon – I don’t mean that I dislike their latest album, oh no. It’s quite good, if you like The Killers-via-Bruce Springsteen-plus The Rolling Stones at thier poppiest. What happened to the band who made Youth & Young Manhood? I want that gritty Southern rock back.

What’s on your Like list? What are you hatin’ on at the moment? Comment section is your friend.

Holy Vice Presidito!

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on September 8, 2008
There is no way - noooo way - this is Photoshopped

There is no way - noooo way - this is Photoshopped

Check out John McCain’s running mate; patriotic much? That photo is pretty much America in a nutshell… minus the hot teacher vibe.

Come on!

Posted in celeb, film by deflowerd on September 6, 2008

Michael Cera, aka George-Michael Bluth, has shot down any hopes of an Arrested Development movie.

In the National Post, he said, “I don’t think I would want to see a movie of the series if I was a fan, anyway. And I don’t really see a need for it if you can get the three seasons on DVD.”

Arrested Development is one of my favourite tv shows; in fact, it’s one of my favourite things, full stop. You think you’re too big for AD, Cera? Huh? You owe everything to that show, you ungrateful son of a bitch.

Nevertheless, I can see them doing the movie without him. The AD crew are the masters of self-reference. It could even make it funnier.

Tara Reid will dance when no one is looking

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on August 8, 2008

Dancing With The Stars has repeatedly rejected Tara Reid’s applications to be a contestant. I wonder why? Oh right. The whole ‘Stars’ thing. DWTS polite excuse? She ain’t “family friendly”.

Are you serious? Families like alcoholic has-beens with botched bodies, right? Surely?

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Heater in hot water

Posted in celeb, sport by deflowerd on August 5, 2008

Collingwood’s Heath Shaw smashed into 2 parked cars while drunk driving Sunday night. He told the football club that a non-Collingwood friend was in the car with him, but it has surfaced that in fact Alan Didak – a man familiar with off-frield troubles, having been involved with CBD murderer Christopher Hudson last year – was in the car with him. Collingwood has today released a statement declaring that both Heath and Alan will be suspended for the remainder of the year, including finals. Rhyce Shaw, Heath’s brother, has also been fined and suspended, as a result of drinking while injured.

This could not come at a worse time for the club, with the entire team down on form and their place in the finals hanging in the balance. Should they lose a game they’ll most likely drop out of the top 8. Do I think it was right to suspend them? Yes. Do I think the culture at the club has degenerated? Yes. They need to be harsher and more swift in their punishments as these incidents occur, making an example to the rest of the players.

Having said that, they may well have thrown away their chances at playing finals footy; Heath Shaw, Alan Didak and Rhyce Shaw are 3 of Collingwood’s best players, with Didak arguably the best in the side.

Word is that Didak will be traded. But who for? A high draft pick? Daniel Kerr? Will he even be traded? Only time will tell.

Secret Life of The Veronicas = taking topless photos

Posted in australian television, celeb by deflowerd on August 2, 2008

Apparently Jessica Modigliani or whatever her name is – one half of Australian pop twins The Veronicas – has taken some nudes, and somehow they’ve been leaked online. Everyone knows that the true path to fame and fortune is boobs, so I can’t fault her there.

Check em out here.

Sam Newman to come off air?

Posted in australian television, celeb by deflowerd on July 31, 2008

Last nights Footy Show may well have been Newman’s last. After a clip regarding the Tasmanian bid for their own AFL team was played, Sam made remarks concerning the female businesswoman featured. After declaring her worthy of coming onto the show, he not-quite under his breath muttered something along the lines of “and it’s worthy of coming on her”.

Having been suspended from the weekly sports/comedy show previously this year for making sexist remarks, one has to wonder how long Newman has left before his bosses give him his marching orders.

Ali Lohan will fuck on camera for a taste of fame

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on July 31, 2008

The youngest, potentially weirdest Lohan sis recently auditioned for the remake of Trolls (and that, in and of itself, is pretty fucking low) and unbeknownst to her, the project is being helmed by adult film director Peter Davy. I wouldn’t be surpised if she actually knew the background info on this guy. She sounds veeeeery desperate.

“I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does.”

“I want [fame] so bad. So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

She could blow up. Like, worse than Britney. That kind of delusion about celebrity… ohh mama.

Bruce Willis attacks photographer

Posted in celeb by deflowerd on July 31, 2008

…thought it was Ashton Kutcher. Oops. See that woman with the camcorder? Bitch bout to get Evian’d.

Sidenote: Could Ashton Kutcher get any less culturally relevant? Seriously, he went from ‘ass-clown’ to ‘absolute nobody ass-clown’. I propose he ditch Demi and go after Madonna. Ugh. I just vomited in my mouth.