Deflower’d

Come on!

Posted in celeb, film by deflowerd on September 6, 2008

Michael Cera, aka George-Michael Bluth, has shot down any hopes of an Arrested Development movie.

In the National Post, he said, “I don’t think I would want to see a movie of the series if I was a fan, anyway. And I don’t really see a need for it if you can get the three seasons on DVD.”

Arrested Development is one of my favourite tv shows; in fact, it’s one of my favourite things, full stop. You think you’re too big for AD, Cera? Huh? You owe everything to that show, you ungrateful son of a bitch.

Nevertheless, I can see them doing the movie without him. The AD crew are the masters of self-reference. It could even make it funnier.

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3atman speculation

Posted in film by deflowerd on August 16, 2008

So, The Dark Knight was amazing. But what’s next? What villains? What story? What title?

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Best news evah?!

Posted in film by deflowerd on August 5, 2008

Austin Powers 4 is in the works! I’m so excited! Woo! Yeah! Who’s with me? …well? Any… anyone? Ok fine. I’ll see it alone.

Breaking news!

Posted in film by deflowerd on July 25, 2008

Phewf! Christian Bale didn’t actually assault anyone. His mother and sister are money-grubbing whores, and provoked him at his hotel room, where he was literally trapped. Apparently his sister wants $200,000 or something. Anyway, the world is back on course, and Batman, though Dark, is no villain. I’m like a modern day Shakespeare. Shakespeare was pretty unsuccessful, yeah?

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Christian Bale beats women?

Posted in film by deflowerd on July 21, 2008

Ninemsn.com.au has reported that Bale, who recently kicked ass in The Dark Knight, has been accused of assault by his mother and sister.

That’s pretty fucked up. I wonder what will come of this. Did he assault them? Would they lie about something so serious? Bale is basically the biggest star in the world right now, so this is kinda huge news.

Story here.

The Dark Knight

Posted in film by deflowerd on July 21, 2008

The Dark Knight. Wow. Just… wow. It’s amazing. It’s the best Batman film ever, the best superhero film ever, and it’s one of the best crime films I’ve seen to date. It’s just freaking brilliant. Ledger as The Joker was terrifically terrifying, hilarious and astounding. I’ve seen the film twice now, and the second time around I spent ages just staring at his face trying to find Heath Ledger in there – but all I could see was The Joker.

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Mini-Reviews

Posted in film by deflowerd on July 10, 2008

Get Smart
2.5/5

Fairly entertaining but not funny enough.

The Happening
0/5

Shit sandwich.

Gone Baby Gone
4/5

Really interesting mystery/drama starring Casey Affleck. Well worth checking out.

Ed Wood
4/5

Hilarious b&w biopic about the universally accepted Worst Director of All Time, Edward D. Wood Jr. Johnny Depp stars and it’s directed by Tim Burton.

Planet Terror
4/5

Modern schlock horror at its bloody best.

Layer Cake
3.5/5

Great british crime film, starring Daniel Craig.

A Scanner Darkly
4/5

Disturbing story of drug addicts and an undercover cop in the near future. Uses rotoscoping animation technique to create a shifting, hallucinatory vision of addiction.

Doomsday
1/5

Neil Marshall’s third film (after Dog Soldiers and The Descent) is about a viral outbreak in the UK. It is really stupid.

Flu ramblings are fun

Posted in film by deflowerd on July 10, 2008

I have the flu. It’s winter here and I am really quite ill. Shaking, fever, sinus issues… Ugh. Not good. It’s 2am and I can’t sleep. So here’s some stuff.

So apparently they’re making two movies about Sherlock Holmes. One is a comedy starring Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell (blerg), and the other is a serious one starring Robert Downey Jr. (fuck yeah!) and directed by Guy Ritchie (semi-fuck yeah!). Would RDJ be right for the role?

It’s been a few months since I last read any Sherlock Holmes, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Holmes, in the books, is in fact quite charismatic. While Holmes was based on an older teacher of Arthur Conan Doyle’s, the actual character is actually around RDJ’s age, and was fairly charismatic. I think. He was supposed to be one of those prodigal genius’ that everyone was amazed by.

Uh, in closing; me like Robert Downey Jr.

Approximately 7 years ago I said I would review Rogue. So here it is.

Rogue is the second feature film by Aussie director Greg Somethingorother. McLean! That’s it. Thank you, IMDb.

His first was Wolf Creek, which was fucking scary and really well made. A lot of people diss it for being brutal and cold, but in my opinion it succeeded at what it wanted to; be a good horror film. It was tense, suspenseful, otherwordsthathavethatsamemeaning, and it really hit home. I’ve traveled through the Central Australian desert, and it’s scarily remote. The 4 leads (3 young adults driving north on a kind of backpacking holiday thing and the… the antagonist) all do a great job, and the plot and dialogue are both excellent. Highly recommended for those who appreciate good horror. I give it 4/5 in general, but it’s a 5/5 horror flick.

Anyway, Rogue follows a group of tourists on a boat cruise up a river in the Northern Territory, in outback Australia. The cast includes Michael Vartan , who plays an American travel writer, Radha Mitchell as the boat captain and tour guide, and several others who, in any other horror film, would just be making up the numbers. Here, those others include Aussie comedic actor Stephen Curry and Wolf Creek star and Australian icon John Jarratt, and they’re not just making up the numbers. Most of the cast give strong performances. Most. Basically, the boat gets stranded upriver far from help, and the tourists and their tour guide find themselves trapped in the domain of a great big hungry Saltwater Crocodile. The film delivers most of the genre conventions, but does so in an entertaining and fresh way. The tension is high, and the Croc looks pretty bloody scary. This is a nice little creature feature, and it’s definitely worth a look.

3/5

I also saw The Prestige, so I thought I’d give my opinion on that too. It’s good. Hugh Jackman’s accent slips a few times, and Christian Bale is unremarkable (as usual), but other than that it’s a really nice, interesting film. I’m a big Chris Nolan fan, and he really delivered a great piece of cinema here. Many people look for hidden secrets and further depth in this film, and rightly so; the film itself really creates a strange experience for the viewer. It leaves you thinking, “Wait… did I miss anything? Is there more to this than meets the eye?” And that is a question I still can’t answer.

Speaking of Hugh Jackman, there’s significant buzz about his upcoming X-Men spinoff, Wolverine. He was arguably the best thing about the X-Men movies, and I like the Jack Man, so I’m hesitantly looking forward to this.

I’m starting to feel pretty unwell so I might end this entry here and see if I can get to sleep. Cheerio!

Revisions, or ‘I was wrong’

Posted in film by deflowerd on June 22, 2008

Indiana Jones 4 sucked, and Get Smart doesn’t look half bad.

Rogue and The Prestige mini-reviews coming soon, as well as a review of the classic 1974 noir, Chinatown.

What’s Going On?

Posted in film by deflowerd on June 18, 2008

The Happening sucks. It sucks HUUUGE sweaty balls. It’s without a doubt the worst movie of the year, and possibly of the decade. It was unintentionally hilarious in it’s poorly scripted, ham-acted idiocy. Do not pay money for this unless you enjoy mocking shite films in a public arena.

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Live And Let Die

Posted in film by deflowerd on June 10, 2008

Live Free or Die Hard was a huge movie, an action-packed blockbuster that heralded the return of John McClane to the silver screen. Somehow I missed it at the theatres, but last week I finally sat down and watched this baby

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Coming soonish… Die Hard 4.0 and Rogue reviews

Posted in film by deflowerd on June 2, 2008

That’s right, soon I’ll be posting reviews of Live Free or Die Hard, or Die Hard 4.0 as it was titled in Australia. I’ll also be posting a review of the Australian creature feature Rogue, a movie which practically no one saw.

(They’re watching Big Brother)

Double Jeopardy (or, How I Learned Not To Take Harvey Dent At Face Value)

Posted in film by deflowerd on May 5, 2008

Here is the leaked … well it could be concept art or it could be a screenshot from the film or it could be fake…

but it’s for… you guessed it: Two-Face.

Does whatever an Iron Man can

Posted in film by deflowerd on May 5, 2008

I review Iron Man

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Gute Nacht

Posted in film by deflowerd on April 18, 2008

Okay I’ll do a brief review of We Own the Night because I said I would and yeah.

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Bang Bang, You’re Dead

Posted in film by deflowerd on February 21, 2008

It’s The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford.

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Indiana Jones And The Raiders Of The Temple Of w00t

Posted in film by deflowerd on February 14, 2008

The trailer for the upcoming Indiana Jones movie has been released. Check it outtttt here!

I’m giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl that giggles a lot. Even though he’s a bit strange in real life, Harrison Ford always does it for me on-screen. Take me to one-liner heaven!

It’s Like Connect 4 In Dagger Terms

Posted in film by deflowerd on February 6, 2008

I shall be reviewing Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street.

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Reverse Parking

Posted in film by deflowerd on January 28, 2008

I’m reviewing Paranoid Park, the latest film from Gus Van Sant. It doesn’t appear to have a release date set for Australia yet, so don’t expect to see this in cinemas any time soon.

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Apocalypse Now

Posted in film by deflowerd on January 13, 2008

Tonight I’m reviewing Southland Tales, the second film by American writer and director Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko).

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