Breaking news!

Phewf! Christian Bale didn’t actually assault anyone. His mother and sister are money-grubbing whores, and provoked him at his hotel room, where he was literally trapped. Apparently his sister wants $200,000 or something. Anyway, the world is back on course, and Batman, though Dark, is no villain. I’m like a modern day Shakespeare. Shakespeare was pretty unsuccessful, yeah?

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Christian Bale beats women?

Ninemsn.com.au has reported that Bale, who recently kicked ass in The Dark Knight, has been accused of assault by his mother and sister.

That’s pretty fucked up. I wonder what will come of this. Did he assault them? Would they lie about something so serious? Bale is basically the biggest star in the world right now, so this is kinda huge news.

Story here.